Hi! I'm Kerry-Ann and it's lovely to meet you. If you're here, fear is stopping you from something and you are ready to knock that fear out of the way and get stuff done.
I was a scaredy cat. For the first portion of my life I was a daredevil who was fulled by fear but when I started suffering from horrible clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder the daredevil inside of me died.
I had to start using a rule my grandfather told me years ago, I was a young child, and we were in the pool. I was afraid of jumping in- a mix of concern of the cold temperature and that I had never jumped into a pool before.
My grandfather smiled at me and said, "Just count to three."
Four words is the answer to fear- for real. Maybe I am over-analyzing it or I can't remember him elaborating but he did but, nevertheless, the rule has helped me so much.
"Why does it work? How does it work?" I hear you ask through the screen and its simple. Don't think about the fear and don't focus on the thoughts that are worrying, just focus on the numbers as you walk towards or start whatever you're afraid of doing so, by the time you hit one, you've started it and realized it was worth overcoming the fear and there's not really any turning back.
This basically lifts the fear out of your path just long enough for you to get to other side.
I do a lot of performances on stage and a lot of public speaking and I adore it! The ENFJ and Aries in my soul is fueled by talking. This is the rule- along with breathing exercises- that get me through the initial starting fear.
This is a blog so I thought, after getting to the point, I'd explain how my first post of baking and my second post of fear landed up as my first two consecutive posts.
Last night I had a dream (and yes, I read "I Had A Dream" in the tune of Amanda Seyfried singing it in Mamma Mia). In this dream I was surrounded by the other students in my school that cause me a ton of anxiety and, miraculously, I stood up straight, pushed my shoulders back and stared them straight in the eye. How the hell did I do that?
Well, my confidence is growing! That's why! I'm in the middle of a social media cleanse and weight loss journey. There are bumps in this journey but I am making a lot more progress than ever before. I have lost a lot of weight and, when my goal is reached, I'll post about it.
I plan on gauging my progress by the end of the year. My first pit-stop is Halloween (my favourite holiday, maybe I can wear a skimpy costume for once and not have my tubby-ness flow over my outfit that is a little too tight because they, once again, did not have my size.)
So now I have to get over the obstacle of actually doing what I did in the dream in real life. The fact that I have horrible asthma that, in the words of my doctor, "is not under control", I am currently attending online school and so not actually face-to-face with anybody other than my family that lives with me BUT I am working on it- even if leaving the house makes me anxious.
Anyways, I hope this has helped some of you. I am super grateful for each and every one of you!
Lots of hugs,
Kerry-Ann
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