Today is not our average advice piece or story of me trying something new or something Sims inspired, no, today is just a brief heart to heart.
I don't like that majority of the articles entitled something like "How to Make a Successful Blog" and "What to Blog About" sing to the same tune of "it's a business" and to treat it like one. This blog is not a business. It's me having a prolonged conversation with anyone who comes here and reads one of my posts.
So today's topic; Finishing up High School! Sounds like a snazzy name for a series, huh? Here, that is. Me writing about my final days.
I'm having my last lessons this Friday, next week I'll have assessments but will never again have normal high school classes. (There will be extra lessons for the bigger subjects but overall no more set class schedule.) And to make matters wilder, COVID-19 has me doing this classes sitting on a pillow in my house's patio, working on a coffee table because the sheer amount of study material I'm using cramps up my room.
It's also nuts because of the pandemic no dates are finalized- they are flopping around. One day they tell us finals are happening early next year then over Christmas then in October... it's confusing as hell. I'm a planner kind of gal, I need to know what's up and create a comprehensive schedule. I have to do this because I'm a wild one who lives on a whim and goes with the flow so if I don't have a schedule, absolutely noting will get done.
Nevertheless, I'll have a lot of study time from next week on. I only hope I don't fall into one of those darn pits I seem to frequent where I'm so sad I say "screw it." where I'm 100% demotivated to even lift a pen or look at one of my notes. It sucks because other times a large flame burns inside of my soul begging me to do everything in my power to succeed. There's not a really an in between except when I'm on a time limit and my anxiety is like "welp might as well do this horrible horrible stuff as to not self-sabotage."
Also because I want to get into the most esteemed university within my country I have to work to the best of my abilities to be accepted into a law degree there. I'm sure I could get into A law degree, but to get the one I want (an LLB) I'll need to work hard.
Besides the words of my dying grandfather (a story for another day) there's the fact both my best friend and I wanna go there. (We haven't been in the same school since primary school so the idea of going to the same university is exciting for us).
I'm trying to spice things up by making collages on the covers of my study books (because I love rainbows and nothing is more colourful than a collection of barely related magazine cut outs pasted on a colourful piece of cardboard.)
I just like to remember how months ago before last years end of year exams I felt as if it was centuries away and I would NEVER make it past them and into my final year; never. Yet here I am, a year later with that memory far in the distance and I am still very much alive.
So now it's established that I won't die. It's also a big bonus that my mental health is being assisted. I won't go into much detail yet of last year's drama but yes I have Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder- a pain in the butt!
I have my daily routine of douses of medicine for both morning and night with the side of two puffs from my asthma pump.
But that's enough spreading of info for me on that topic. I use to be extremely talkative about it, mostly because of my craving of attention in the past, but now I've cooled down.
Overall I'm in a better place this year and last year, whilst an utter mess of a human, I scored decent marks, I believe I can get insanely good ones as a rather put together and happy human.
Just have to study like my life depends on it, which it does. Like not life or death, but my dreams.
So hey, I'll be back in a few months updating you on my results, just gotta get there first and remember I can do it if I work for it (thank you Princess Tiana for that life lesson.)
Anywho, enjoy the rest of your day.
Lots of hugs,
Kerry-Ann
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